5 traits of a bad boss that will be detrimental to your career

Choose your boss, not your job

Someone

It is perhaps the most apt career advice ever. Of course, this works equally well for partners who are venturing out to start a business as well.

In our career, it is important to work with the right people – Superiors and Juniors alike. These will influence the extent of our career development and thereafter how much easier wealth accumulation can be. Working with the right people will enable us to achieve more together. Conversely, working with the wrong people will hold us back or even cause deterioration.

I’ve had the privilege to work with some great people in my career. In contrast, I’ve also worked for one unforgettably difficult boss.

This post is dedicated to everyone who is going through a tough career, but don’t know if you should make that move. It is also to those of you who are managing people to constantly reflect and see if these are the reasons why your people are leaving you.

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Background

Not too long ago, I was in an industry that I liked, working with brilliant colleagues and definitely growing in the space that I wanted to. However, I left due to the sheer toxicity of the workplace, which was caused by the boss (who shall remained unnamed) who is the owner of the company.

When I first joined the company, the entire working team was new. I was informed during the interview that the boss was a tough person, even by the boss himself (although his caveat is that “only because the staff is in the wrong”), and so I was prepared to face a tough boss.

My first year was decent. Tough, but decent. Then it was a straight downward spiral after that. Very much like the March 2020 stock market crash. I kept consoling myself that there is a reason why the boss is successful and I should be able to pick up a thing or two. But who am I kidding?

Imagine this: over the course of 2 years, I have about 25 ex-colleagues for a small team of only 6 at any one time.

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The 5 Traits

After going through that traumatic experience, let me share with you from my personal experience these 5 traits that we should all take note of. They are in no particular order of importance.

1) Narcissistic

Extremely self-centered with an exaggerated sense of self-importance

Merriam-Webster.com

Narcissists will always talk about how great they are and, whether consciously or not, talk down on others including you.

They regard themselves as the centre piece of the puzzle and will be involved in anything that is important. In their eyes, the success of anything is because of their involvement. Funnily, that often times can be so much further from the truth.

Any achievements at work will suddenly be about their achievements and your contribution will be non-existent. On the other hand, all failures and mistakes at work will be solely your issue. Yes. They take credit for your hard work and put the blames of any mistakes to you.

I guess the epitome of this (for me) was when someone says, “if you are talking to God, you should do as he says” when referring to himself.

There was an instance when a teammate was contributing an idea, it got shot down so quickly that you’d think the idea held no water. Then somewhere down the road he/she uses the exact same idea and claims all the credit as if it’s the most brilliant of ideas when it works. This brings us to Trait (2).

2) Manipulative

No one likes to be manipulated and often times we won’t know we are being manipulated until it is too late.

Chances are… if the boss manipulates external parties, the boss is also manipulating you in one way or the other.

A few possible ways of this is:

• Guilt trip: They would always mention how badly you have failed them or made any mistakes, so you will need to perform tasks for them to “compensate”. They press your guilt buttons rather than discuss with you positively with proper reasoning.
• Deceitful play of facts: They may consciously withhold some key information or even twist facts to ensure you act for them / stand on their side / etc. You will know this when you know the entire story and suddenly you heard him tell a different story to another person.
• Passing blame: They will start the blame cycle when something goes wrong and it never is their fault. They may be already positioned themselves so that their argument to pass the blame will always be justified in their way. We know that when a job / project fails, the entire team should be the one to take the bullet rather than a single person (especially a junior). Of course, not in the eyes of a manipulator.

3) Hypocrisy

Behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe or feel

Merriam-Webster.com

This usually takes time to reveal oneself. Pay close attention to what they do vs what they say. As they say, “action speaks louder than words”.

So I had a boss who speaks highly of team work, hates politics, value honesty, actions driven by the right and good things. Then I slowly discovered that he is willing to let the team fail (and start the blaming), is the main politician in office, manipulative, and performed unscrupulous acts that does not agree with my principles (more on this in trait (4)).

How do you work with someone who is not actually the person you thought he / she was?

4) Integrity (or lack thereof)

In other words… unethical.

Understandably there are moments in business where it is unavoidable to give in to external forces to challenge the ethical beliefs and principles. Someone who has integrity will always use that as a last resort and stand by his / her principles. Those with integrity will be congruent with what they say and also strive to achieve win-win situations that are aligned with their own principles.

What I’m referring to here are those who would step on others to achieve success. A clear example is when their mindset is fixated on a zero-sum game, whereby one person’s gain is another person’s loss. It can surface in dealings with clients where externally they are buddy with the said client, but internally they are plotting against the client to extort the most out of them.

If they are unethical in their dealings with external parties, you can rest assured that they treat you the same. They may promise you promotions / good bonuses, but you will find out that every time when it comes closer to that time there will be some big issue that will give them justification not to give it to you.

5) Bully

Bullies are evidently difficult to deal with. They want to be dominant at all times and will take all kinds of measures to ensure so. There will not be any respect when they speak to you, but they expect respect from you.

They will often threaten you and show a lot of hostility to get you into submission. Yelling, shouting, scolding are usually all part of the package.

The work culture will be fear-driven. Everyone working there will be guided by their fear of something if they don’t do something. How does one perform well and let the creativeness blossom in an environment where you are constantly only in survival mode?

I was shouted at numerous times, been challenged in a condescending tone, been called not so nice nicknames and, worst of all, threatened with various things that you would never imagined would be possible.

If you ever meet a bully as your boss, it would be tough for any career advancement as you will be more concerned of daily survival above all else.

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My take when it comes to this

These are my personal experience and it has taken a toll on my well being. Toxicity in a work place is detrimental to any growth and development, especially if it stems from the higher ups.

If you manage to find a senior / boss who appreciates you and has shown great leadership skills, work together to transcend together. He/she will be the one who can assist you to achieve more in career. I have managed to have several of such persons who has helped me a lot along the way. The journey will be very enjoyable and fruitful.

If you happen to stumble upon a boss with the above traits like I had, getting out as soon as possible is usually a good plan because:

1. You protect yourself from emotional abuse
2. You give yourself a chance to work with someone who will treat you much better

A sure sign is when the company has an unusually high turnover rate. That would be your cue to start paying attention.

Active income is where we accumulate most of our wealth to pump into our savings, investments and other dealings. So, it is of utmost importance to work with someone who can promote your career development in the right way.